Four Portlanders Explain Why Gathering Matters
We know loneliness does us no good. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has shown ties between social isolation and an increased risk of stroke and heart disease. It can increase our vulnerability to type 2 diabetes and dementia, not to mention our potential for depressive disorders and suicidality. Having a real-world social network can be vital during major life events; who among us hasn’t received a pile of casseroles after the death of a family member, or depended on a friend to help you carry that unwieldy futon up the stairs to your new apartment?
Being in community is also a crucial reminder of our own humanity. We asked a handful of professional gatherers—a priest, a union organizer—why they went into the business of bringing people together, and how communion adds richness and dimension to our lives.
Nora Harrington
Licensed marriage and family therapist, cofounder of a therapy group called Why Am I Still Fucking Single?
“I’m a relationship therapist because I really struggled in relationships. I didn’t understand that vulnerability was a prerequisite for bonding. I wanted there to be a way to bond without having to tell people that [I’d] been struggling so hard.”
“It was such a relieving awakening to realize that’s where I would be loved the most: putting [my] worst foot forward. I think the kids call it full goblin mode. That really is it.”
Deanna Haines
Death doula, Evening Star End-of-Life Doula Services
“It takes a village to die, and it takes a village to support people who are dying. The doula movement is a very grassroots, community-based movement. We’re not white coats coming in and telling you what to do. We’re folks and neighbors who know a lot about death and dying who want to make it easier for our community members.”
“If you’re alone in this world, if you don’t have people, it’s harder. It’s hard to have a peaceful death when you’re doing this all alone.”
The Reverend Sara Fischer
Episcopal priest, street chaplain for Hope & Bread City Mission, author of Open: Adventures in Radical Hospitality
“Church is a place where people get together with some common beliefs and values, but one is a lawyer and another is a teacher and another is homeless and another works as a cashier at Fred Meyer.”
“Gathering reminds us that we’re designed to be social beings. When you look at human society over the millennia, we’re more self-reliant and less social, and I don’t think that does us any good. I think it’s important to gather because we’re made to gather.”
Mark Medina
Union organizer, Food Chain Workers Alliance and Coalition of Independent Unions
“Being alone in struggle is incredibly demoralizing. When you have other people who have your back, when you’re working together, it makes you feel like you can take on not just the next day but that you can go on forever.”
“Solidarity, for me, means that you feel a moral obligation to be your brother’s keeper. That it is part of the human experience. It’s not just about taking care of ourselves, but taking care of those in need.”
