Hiking Happens in Oregon. Should It?
We size up hitting the trail.
- Rare opportunity for humans to show nature that, actually, we are the masters
- The more you feel pressured and guilted into hiking, the more fun it is
- Perfect for tormenting indoorsy visiting in-laws
- Fun to learn about other people by analyzing trash they leave behind
- It’s like being inside your desktop wallpaper, man
- Drunken plans to do it are usually forgotten
- Instagram needs fresh content, after all
- Mumbling “hello” to people passing you from other direction is peak human awkwardness
- Could be avoided altogether with an intricate series of escalators and elevators
- Supposed health benefits don’t include X-ray vision or anything truly cool
- That guy who assures you, “It’s always harder on the way down”
- Probability of bear attack greater than zero
- Trail mix only has so many M&M’s
- Europeans with walking sticks