Scene & Heard

If you were hoping to get to know "The Turk," the man behind the online food delivery service the Secret Kebab, you are out of luck.

April 22, 2011 Published in the May 2011 issue of Portland Monthly

THE NEW SECRET KEBAB delivers food to your doorstep but takes orders only via the web. Secret Kebab’s impresario, “The Turk” (pictured here … or at least he claims he’s this handsome), declined an interview, but he’s fast becoming a Twitter sensation. A juicy, delicious sample from @secretkebab:

“Who will want between the cheeks my Secret Kebab this night?! You must tell me your wish to fulfill!!”

“For your confusion!! Delivering #NEPDX to Burnside!! You are souther of Burnside or wester of river we spank the minimum!! Or come in NEPDX!”

“This secret is no secret!! I am very small number kebabs each night grilling. If your desire is true you will request before the rest!!”

“Haca!! Remains on the night 11 Secrtet Kebab [sic] only!! A form of love on my lamb who will taste?! Can it be yourself?! I donut know!! Portland!”

“The Turk will earn his #hashish on this night so busy!! Briskness on your request!! A lamb for this day will soon be snatch up!!”

“For fresh turnip leafs I search!! Lettuce on Secret Kebab?! NEVER weak green leafs only STRONG! BOOM BOOM!! BAA BAA!! Tomorrow 6PM!!”

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