The Shakedown on Starbucks
Does the mermaid measure up?
- It’s really just coffee and milk, not a cultural statement
- And yet you can annoy people by going there, so ...
- One place where your name will be called with at least some enthusiasm
- Orders filled fast enough to avoid being seen by cool friends
- Dominated on Battlestar Galactica! (Wait, what?)
- Her shining crown serves as a beacon of nobility in Strip Mall America
- Small people now able to say they’re actually “tall”
- Pumpkin Spice Lattes—the Uggs of the coffee world
- Does not meet general Portland threshold for tattoos and pour-overs
- A visit can accidentally evoke the collected wisdom of Howard Schultz
- Petite vanilla scones not yet required to carry addiction warning
- Those times when you walk in and realize it’s the sketchy Starbucks
- Yuge is the new Venti