↑ Upside

• It’s really just coffee and milk, not a cultural statement
• And yet you can annoy people by going there, so ...
• One place where your name will be called with at least some enthusiasm
• Orders filled fast enough to avoid being seen by cool friends
• Dominated on Battlestar Galactica! (Wait, what?)
• Her shining crown serves as a beacon of nobility in Strip Mall America
• Small people now able to say they’re actually “tall”

↓ Downside

• Pumpkin Spice Lattes—the Uggs of the coffee world
• Does not meet general Portland threshold for tattoos and pour-overs
• A visit can accidentally evoke the collected wisdom of Howard Schultz
• Petite vanilla scones not yet required to carry addiction warning
• Those times when you walk in and realize it’s the sketchy Starbucks
• Yuge is the new Venti