Crystal Balling

Portland Psychics Predict the Upcoming Trail Blazers Season

A light green rose is reaching up to its gold sun (and other prophecies).

By Marty Patail October 16, 2017 Published in the November 2017 issue of Portland Monthly

1117 mudroom blazers predictions lzs3pt

What future awaits the Blazers? After 41 wins and 41 losses last season, the occasionally exciting, often underwhelming team got swept by eventual champions Golden State in the first round of the playoffs. But with a rock-solid core of Damian Lillard, CJ McCollum, and Jusuf Nurkic (finally healthy, at least at the moment of this writing), fortunes might be looking up. Maybe. Better consult the all-knowing ones. We asked students at the Portland Psychic School to read the team‘s preseason energy ahead of the October 24 home opener, using a variety of clairvoyant techniques. Their report:


Lisa: “I see amusement. I see them collaborating really well with each other. Finding commonalities. The spirit of collaboration clears that bureaucratic noise.”

Rachael: “I see a deep, purple rose,* in a black outline, like a coloring book. The rose is growing, expanding past the black outlines. There’s new growth coming off. It’s shed its skin—shed these black lines. It’s getting down to the realness. The energy of the crowd really likes that.”


Carrie: “It looks like the team is really young. They’re not quite ready for what the fans want from them. The team is feeling a lot of pressure from the fans, but that’s their perspective. If they could see that they were just fans, there would be a mutual appreciation.”

Laura: “I see a very large yellow rose, opened up. There’s many, many folds to it. But in the tops of the folds there are tiny mealworms. They are all trying to form a pattern, and work together, but they’re not. There’s a sense of wanting to work together but it not being cohesive.”

Lisa: “I see the team in a fishbowl, and I just get a sense of feeling confined and lacking space. I also see them giving themselves permission to not be perfect and make mistakes and screw up.”

Possible Conflict

Laura: “I immediately see two roses: a white one and a red one. The white is the management, and there’s a sense of knowing what to do, a sense of superiority. And the red is the fans, and they’re not getting what they want.”

Ryan: “I see a stoplight, and if the coach distributes his energy across the team it turns into a green light. I see a real big shift in how the team integrates. Everyone is a star on the team, and there’s a shift from focusing on one or two people and enhancing the team where everybody gets to shine.”

Season Prospects

Carrie: “I see a light green rose. A light green rose that is reaching up to its gold sun. What I see is that it’s stretching, turning itself in the direction of its gold sun to get as much of the gold sun as possible. It’s moving itself in a very effective way to use the most of its energy.”

Anna: “I see a bright white, yellow spotlight on a dark background. It feels light. It feels happy. Like receiving a medal.”

*Portland Psychic School founder William Pacholski explains that his school uses the rose as a visualization tool—but that a tree or another object could work.

Show Comments