If you’d rather hang yourself than get gussied up to eat an overpriced meal in a contrived, intimate setting … you might be like most people. Instead of going through the motions this holiday, try something different. On the day that love costs money, you might as well pay for something you actually want. 

Oregon’s 8th Annual Zwickelmania
This annual Presidents’ Day weekend tradition happily coincides with Valentine’s Day this year, giving you a legit reason toast to love, love lost, or even zwickels (if you're curious, they're the keys used to get samples from fermentation vats). More than 120 breweries across nearly 30 cities—over 100 breweries in the Portland area alone—will participate in the beer-centric fest offering tours of the state’s innumerable brew houses, meet-the-brewer events, and tastings. Along with plenty of suds samples, Zwickelmania gets in the V-Day spirit with an inaugural chocolate pop-up from members of the Portland Chocolate Mob at select PDX breweries.
Saturday, February 13 at 11am-4pm. For a full list of participating breweries, visit Zwickelmania’s website.

Hip Chicks Do Wine
Grab your girlfriends and head to Southeast’s boutique winery Hip Chicks Do Wine for a chocolate-and-wine pairing this Valentine’s Day. The Hip Chicks have teamed with Tamami Chocolate and Fudgelandia for this delicious collaboration pairing four locally-made, hand-crafted truffles and one wine-infused fudge with five of their wines. Opt for a VIP ticket for an extra glass of sparkling wine and two packages of truffles to enjoy at home … or in your car on your way out.
$12 per person in advance; $15 day of. $25 VIP advance; $28 day of. Call 503-234-3790 or click here to purchase tickets. 

Haunted Valentine Tour
Love can be pretty scary. And with BeerQuest’s Haunted Valentine Tour, it’s downright terrifying. Bring a friend or fly solo on this pub tour exploring Portland’s historic Old Town District and its wicked past—a history rife with gangs, prostitution, gambling, and opium dens. Explore the Shanghai Tunnels—one of America’s most haunted places—and visit the Old Merchant Hotel, supposedly Portland’s most haunted building. You’ll stop at two historic pubs along the way, sampling locally made chocolates and 7 award-winning local beers while listening to stories of the bars’ resident ghosts—a drug dealer, a prostitute, and a fireman.
$59 per person. Purchase tickets here.

Morgan St. Theater: How I Love
Kick off your V-Day celebrations early with local playwright Tonya Jone Miller and Morgan St. Theater on February 10. Part of the venue’s monthly Dessert Theater series, February’s performances will hinge on the theme of “How I Love.” A playwright, actor, and professional phone sex operator, Miller will explore the theme through live storytelling while audiences sip on tea pairings from Jasmine Pearl Tea Company and indulge in a menu of sweet treats including beet mascarpone ice cream, grapefruit raspberry sorbet, and chocolate ice cream with challah French toast. Late to celebrate? A February 17 performance features Elina Lim of Story Slam Singapore.
$39 per person. Purchase tickets here.